do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
