So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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