Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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