People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
