My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
