I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
