the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize