i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
