whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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