Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
