carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
