She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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