After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
