I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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