I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize