Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize