its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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