"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
