no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
