my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
