So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
