he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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