i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
