Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
