handjob tips. give me some.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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