just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
