idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
