he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
