Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
