I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
