So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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