the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
