You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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