Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She even gives head with a lisp.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
