I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
