she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
