is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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