Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
