She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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