I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
