So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
