So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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