Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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