Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
