Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
