HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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