she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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