I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
