idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
