There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize