so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize