yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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