then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
