he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
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I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
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