She's JV to your varsity
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
