Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
