dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
vagina is talking i cant
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
