She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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