Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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