i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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