But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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