i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
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It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
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So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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