We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
