Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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