Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
