He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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